A little input I recieved..

When a parent was asked these questions....here are the responses, very interesting and beneficial to my inquiry on children with autism and their families. This gave me a better insight into the life of these families!

If you could explain one thing to the general public about autism in general or your child/family in particular, what would it be?

Response: That the stresses on a family dealing with autism are enormous and often hard to see on the surface, that these families often feel isolated and stretched, that these families experience all the same feelings of that those with typical kids feel--worry, hope, concern, pride, admiration, irritation, boredom, elation, etc. mixed with some monumental concerns about their children's ability to make their own way in the world, make meaningful connections and have meaningful work, that often the concerns are more simple and profound: what will happen to my child when I die? who will be looking out for them like i do? with my eyes, the ones that SEE their beauty, their worth, their value, their potential, even if they utter not a single word and behave in ways that people can't understand or don't want to take the time to understand.

The two wisest things i ever heard an autism expert say was:

(a) put the relationship first

(b) see all behavior as communication.

How do most people treat your child in public, and how would you prefer to see your children treated?

Response: People treat ______ as they would any other kid most of the time because his disability is largely invisible unless he's triggered (and then can yell or push or throw things or act floppy and fall down or lick things inappropriately) or overwhelmed in a setting with too many people or struggling to find his way 'in' with other kids and then he can be treated with impatience and fear and judgment. Some parents look sideways at me and usher their children away. I heard a woman at the library the other day say to her little girl, stay away from that boy, stay away from him, only she was talking in french and must have assumed I couldn't understand her.

If your child were to act out in public, would you prefer strangers ignore the behavior or offer to help in some way?

Response: When we have a hard time in public which doesn't happen that often for us, I would prefer if people would ask if there's anything they can do. It helps break the isolation, the separateness. It helps unite us as part of one team, the humanity team. It takes the sting out. It says, I get it. I've been in sticky situations too. I know it will pass. can I lend a hand in the meantime.