Research! Research! Research!

I have been researching different websites and books about autism and the struggles that parents go through on a daily basis. I have some across some great sites and some not so great sites. However, I have found a mother's blog where she discusses the hardships she goes through but also the many rewarding experiences she has had with her son. She has posted a list of "the top ten things autism has taught me about life" and I'd like to share a few of these that I thought were very beneficial for parents to read.

1) Unless its a party no one likes surprises.
One of the universal truths of autism is the importance of knowing at all times what is coming next. Nothing can upset a child with autism like an extra errand they were not told to expect. Similarly it can be just as devastating to have an errand or activity removed from a planned outing. Something as simple as taking a different way home from Grandma's house can be both upsetting and also unsettling.

2) You can't read a book by its cover.
One of my favorite sayings about individuals with autism is this..."If you have met 1 person with autism, thats it...you have met 1 person.". Autism is a spectrum disorder. Within that spectrum you have individuals who are non-verbal and require constant supervision for their entire lives while also including on the opposite end individuals who are "quirky" or mildly socially awkward. The best way to learn more about an autistic individual is to spend time with that individual. Learn their strengths, accept their limitations, and expect to be amazed!

3) Sometimes we just need a time-out
Individuals with autism can become easily agitated by situations and locations a typical person would never notice. Fluorescent lights are often unbearable for children with autism as the sound they produce can be merely annoying at best and deafening at worst. Combined with the assault of extra sensory sights and sounds of their surroundings it is no surprise that many individuals with autism have meltdowns in public places such as the grocery store or a shopping mall.
We all need a time-out when we feel our anxiety gaining speed and our coping mechanisms failing. However, for someone with autism it is very difficult if not impossible for them to voice their need or to pinpoint exactly what is setting them off.


4) Take time to smell the roses.
This is probably the easiest lesson to skip or gloss over as a parent. We spend our days moving at rapid-fire speed to get everything done and in doing so we can miss so many of the simple pleasures around us. My son, Noah, has taught me this lesson time and time again. He takes pleasure in the smallest sounds of birds chirping in the trees or the way the wind blows through the trees and causes the leaves to rustle and spin. He will lay in front of our sliding glass doors and bask in the morning sun like a cat. He will do these things and ignore the toys in the toy box behind him or the books sitting next to him on the shelf. For those moments he simply wants to meditate on where he is right there in the moment.


5) A heavy load is easier to bear when someone helps you carry it.
When we are weary and heavy laden the best thing we can do for ourselves and our children is to ask for help. At times it can be the absolute hardest thing to do. Even asking help of someone we love, like our spouse or our family can be overwhelming. I think this happens because we spend so much of our time and our energy caring for our children and anticipating their needs that we really want someone to do the same for us.
And they can. But you are going to have to ask them for it.
Our family and friends, and even our spouses, are not mind readers. They may not know when we are at our breaking point. This is where communication and honesty are paramount.

I hope that you enjoy reading these little reminders as much as I did! I think it's important for families to know that there IS support out there if you just seek it.